Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Living in Houses That Aren't Mine

The great thing about house-sitting is that it's sort of like staying at a multi-star hotel. No bills to pay, free cable, a fridge full of food, drinks, etc. Maybe you have to feed a cat, but the only thing you really have to do is ensure the house doesn't burn down. And if it does... who cares? It's not your house.

I like to pretend I'm Robin Williams' creepy character in One Hour Photo. I'll sit on your couch, I'll watch your TV, I'll use your toilet... I'll do these things as if everything had always been mine. Except instead of kidnapping you and locking you in a hotel room I'll simply give you back your house when you come home. I might be creepy, but I try to avoid being awful.

I'm currently in Woodstock, Ontario.
Facts about Woodstock, Ontario:
- population of 35,480 (as of 2006... we're still waiting on the results of this year's census)
- "Dairy Capital of Canada"
- first settled in 1800.
- site of the "Woodstock Wood Show" held every October
- there's a life-sized statue of a cow downtown named the Springbank Snow Countess
- on Wikipedia the "Notable Natives" section features a list of Woodstockians who aren't very notable.

There are also a lot of old buildings, some new houses, and a place that will sell me habanero chipnuts.

Also, and this may be most important, there is a sushi restaurant that is surprisingly good. Surprising because it's a sushi restaurant... in Woodstock, Ontario... that's good. It's like finding a gold nugget in the pocket of a two-hundred year-old pair of pants.

But I don't live here. I'm pretending to, but later I'll go back to my real home and watch my own dumb TV and eat my own dumb food. I'll have to feed my own dumb cat. Of course, anybody house-sitting for me will find it all luxurious -- in a I'm-not-paying-for-this-multi-star-hotel sort of way.

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