Friday, March 28, 2014

"Cardinals vs. Expos"


Originally posted August 8, 2003, on Xanga.com.  Xanga is doing something weird with their archives, so instead of directly linking to the original page (which I can't) I opted instead to copy+paste the html over here (which I did). Enjoy this walk down memory lane!  Enjoy the typos!


"Cardinals vs. Expos"
i was super excited when i found out that me and the Cardinals were going to be in the same town at the same time. i hadn't seen a Cardinal game all season (nor an Expo game, for that matter), and i wanted to seize this rare opportunity to enjoy myself some baseball. i fully understood professional dweeb-nut Ashton Kutcher's Just Married "How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe" lament. I was in Montreal, and i was going to see a major league baseball game.
Olympic Stadium sticks out "like a sore thumb." it looks like the resident ship for a failed Star Trek series and, thanks to the "mast", can be seen from miles around. the stadium was built for the '76 olympics and was originally supposed to have a retractable roof, but it never really worked right. eventually, instead of a retractable roof, the stadium was capped with a big blue (non-retractable) teflon thing. it looks like a giant pop-o-matic.
it was The Future
according to the mid-seventies.
despite the awkwardness of it, the stadium is still neat to look at. i wanted to fly it through space. and within it's elliptical walls, BASEBALL games are played.
unfortunately, nobody seemed to care.
not really knowing where the front door was, me 'n' cricket appraoched the stadium on the wrong side. there was absolutly nobody around. nobody. cricket was afraid that the game had been cancelled. i informed her that only rain cancels games, and domed stadiums don't have to worry about rain (though in an isolated incident, a Houston Astros game was cancelled because the streets had flooded and nobody could get to the stadium. the field was fine.) i looked up at the clear skies, unable to understand where all the people were. in kasas city and st. louis, when there's a baseball game, traffic is backed up and there are people milling about EVERYWHERE. in Montreal, me and cricket seemed to be the only ones milling.
we walked a semi-circle around the outside of the stadium and saw several people trickling into the stadium's lower level. we followed, shrugging off the ubiquitous scalpers, and finally made it inside. we got general admission seats and took more effort than what was probably necessary to find them.
aside: there is a certain magical feeling you get when you walk through the tunnel of ANY stadium and see the playing field for the first time. it's like being birthed, and everything suddenly opens up before you. you see the players down below, and they don't seem real at first. you see the green of the well-groomed outfield, and it consumes everything. tens of thousands of seats encircle and point to the field, and it's all overwhelming. i love taking that walk through the tunnel, just before i see any of this. the anticipation mounts, especially when walking into an unfamiler stadium. were it not for the game itself, i would go to stadiums just to walk through the tunnel.
anyway
we had trouble getting to our seats. i don't doubt that the french words coming out of everybody's mouths confused me, but i attribute our inability to get to our seats (which were, by the way, beyond the left field wall [you could've said that we were "way out in left field"]) to the fact that fifty percent of the stadium was inaccessble. we couldn't get around because yellow tape prevented us from doing so. "How odd," i thought. this wasn't the only odd thing that i was to note that night.
the game had already started when we finally got to our seats. the score was 0-0, so we hadn't missed much. but even if something had happened, i was too busy gawking at the seats themselves to notice anything. they were plastic and dark blue, which wasn't unusual. what WAS unusual was their misshapen appearance. Sixties-era James T. Kirk would've approved. they were small and circle-ish and... just generally peculiar looking. but, like in all good stadiums, the seats were hinged (like in a movie theater, where you stand up and the seats snap close, except these didn't snap). i was to later learn of the abused purpose of these hinged seats. after resigning myself to the fact that i was actually going to have to sit in this thing, i plopped myself down and prepared myself for a lovely evening of baseball.
after glancing at the scoreboard to find out who was doing what where, i took a long look around the inside of the stadium. where were all the people?? i mean, seriously. the stadium's capacity for a baseball game is about forty-four thousand. there were just over seven thousand people in attendance that night. i had never seen anything like it in all my days of baseball game attending. but i guess everybody got a fair amount of elbow room. in fact, me and cricket sat across the aisle from where our ticket had allotted us so we wouldn't have to sit unnecessarily close to other attendees. the center field seats were taped off, and so was the entire upper deck. there was NOBODY. i've seen softball games with higher attendance.
Scott Rolen hit a solo home run in the 2nd to put the Cards on the board first. it was a good shot to center. i was afraid that i'd be the only one cheering, but i saw red t-shirts peppered throughout the near-empty stadium and i knew that i wasn't alone. in fact, there were a couple Cardinal fans sitting a couple seats below us. they spoke french, though, so i didn't dare talk to them. there was the customary boo-ing from the Expo fans, but they all boo-ed with french-canadian accents. this only enhanced the surrealness of it all.
and then the fine people in promotions did something that really pissed me off.
a baseball field is a holy place to be. a baseball field is rich in history, and this is where the gods play. the grounds crew work meticulously to maintain the richness of the playing surface. you must respect the baseball field. you must show it honor.
you do NOT parade a new car around the field between innings. do NOT. unless you're giving a car to a player who just hit their 62nd home run or got their 4,190th career hit (or if you're ambulancing an injured player away), vehicles stay OFF the playing surface. if i want to see your new car i'm going to go to your damn car lot.
so yeah. they showcased a new car between the second and third inning. right there in the outfield.
i was livid.
the french-canadians were not scoring points with me this day.
i settled down a little bit and concentrated on the game. the Expos scored a run in the third and it was tied 1-1. both pitchers were doing an excellent job and it remained tied for most of the game. Expos pitcher Livan Hernandez, apart from the home run he gave up, was doing phenomenally well. he really had his stuff together and struck out eight Cardinal batters that night. The Cardinals' Garrett Stephenson was pitching a good game too, but it was the Cardinal defense that prevented Montreal from scoring any more runs. The Expos grounded out eleven times, which says a lot for the Cardinal infield, as well as Stephenson's ability to keep the ball low that night. (i apologize for over-analyzing the game, but it was a good night for efficient baseball.)
Montreal's Vladimir Guerrero dropped an easy fly ball in the fifth. i laughed pretty hard at that.
everybody had an empty seat beside them, and i had mentioned that they were hinged seats. when things got tight in the game, each fan would reach over to the empty seat next to them and BANG it up and down over and over. seven thousand people banging plastic seats can make things pretty noisy. but we were in a dome, so the sound not only bounced off of the scores of other empty seats, but also off of the ceiling. it got freakin' loud in there. it was like pumping a jackhammer in the middle of a concrete room.
things were moving along tremendously fast. everybody (apart from Guerrero out there in right field) was playing very well. the pitchers were just mowing down batter after batter. finally it was the top of the ninth. the score was still tied at one. both pitchers were en route to throwing a complete game (statistically speaking). Albert Pujols was on third, and Scott Rolen sacrifice flied him home. The Expos were unable to score in the bottom of the ninth, and the Cardinals won 2-1. seven thousand people swore in french and then went home. the game lasted two hours and four minutes. this was the shortest game i've ever been to, but it was also one of the most well-played. thumbs up for hard-nosed baseball. and parking was free.
my thoughts on the Expos' organization...
they need to move. the team needs to be somewhere where they'll be better appreciated. i've heard rumers that they could relocate to Oregon or Virginia or Washington D.C. (they've already played a few games in Puerto Rico). i think Washington D.C. would be a good place for them. DC is rich in baseball history. The Senators played there from 1901 to 1960, then moved to Minnesota and became the Twins. a new Senators team arose from the ashes and played from 1961 to 1971, then moved to Texas and became the Rangers. the way i see it, Washington is due for another home team, and i think the Expos would do nicely. They'd surely attract more than seven thousand people to a game.
interesting note: the Expos don't have a real owner.  technically, the other twenty-nine owners are in control of the club, and their General Manager is also the Mets' G.M.  everybody else is just kind of taking care of the team until something can be done about them.  the Expos are like a dog you find in the woods that everyone feels sorry for.
i don't know what's to become of Olympic Stadium. Quebec has invested too much money into building it (one billion dollars when all was said and done) to knock it down. it periodically hosts various events (auto shows, canadian rock 'n' rollers, etc) and canadian football games (if i'm not mistaken). but to me, Olympic Stadium is just a giant paperweight in need of a higher purpose. or another summer olympics.